i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
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