Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
4 words: hood of his car
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
