thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
