Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
