yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
