Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Randomize
