Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
you had me at cake vodka
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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