Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
