lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
