Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
