This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Randomize
