The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
