God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
