Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
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I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
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you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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