what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
