if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
