When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize