That's intense
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
