the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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