I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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