Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Matt is in the hospital again. the night nurse text me asking not to bring the boombox again. is it sad or awesome that they are starting to know us?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Randomize