that's an acceptable place to lick
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
