Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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