yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
God I need to hump something, right now.
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