The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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