I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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