yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Randomize
