I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
