why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
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