Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
