I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
