I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
