He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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