Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
