Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
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