I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
