I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
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he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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