The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
