are you still at the devil's house?
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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