well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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