I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
all I'm saying is if you're gonna fuck a fat chick do it in a pool it's like zero gravity or something
how did you graduate high school
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
