the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
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When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
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I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
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