I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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