I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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