I can feel you judging me through the phone.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
We need to get me chipped asap
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize