Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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