maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize