Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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