I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
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you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
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Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
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