Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
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Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
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I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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