I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
