I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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