I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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