You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
