He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Randomize
