i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
Randomize
