Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
